One day maybe I’ll tell my whole story, but that will have to wait until I can write more than a few paragraphs at a time on the same subject. Grieving does that to you. A foggy headed lack of concentration is normal. Some days I’m thankful for it and others it’s frustrating, but it is where I am.
The basics of my story are this…in December 2013 my father, who was a wonderful Dad and a role model in the community, died after a 13 year battle with multiple myeloma. Five months later, my high school sweetheart and husband of 21 years, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He passed away on January 1, 2015. I lost myself for a while after my husband died, becoming angry and self destructive. In August 2015, B, also known as Brad or Branson, was put directly in my path and, as if in a fairy tale, we fell in love at first sight. He breathed joy and hope back into my life and reminded me that I am loved and I am worthy of love. On January 28, 2016 he died suddenly from a blood clot after a minor knee surgery and my heart was shattered. In July 2016, my mother, who was a constant support through all of the previous losses, was diagnosed with a blood cancer. She passed away on October 28, 2016 and I am, at this writing, still reeling from her loss.
Needless to say, it’s been a rough few years. I’m righting now, attempting to pick myself back up yet again, learning and growing from the past, and moving forward. Writing has always been a way to right myself. It’s my therapy. My blog is the way that I share some of my journey. Today it’s all I have to give, but I know that something beautiful is coming. I feel it in my spirit. What it is, I have no idea, but it is my prayer that I will be used in some way to encourage others, to be love and light for them as so many along this path have been love and light to me. In the mean time, I will write in an attempt to stay sane, and I will post some of those writings here in hopes that it may help someone else.
🙂
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Stay Strong 🙂
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Thank you!
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Father, You can count the stars and call them all by name. Your power is absolute. Your understanding is beyond comprehension. You support the humble and bring the wicked down into the dust. You comfort those who mourn. We declare that those grieving the death of a loved one; mourning will turn into dancing. We confess that You are their rock, fortress, and Savior in whom they will find protection. You are their shield, and the strength of their salvation. Father, You are their stronghold. As they call on You, You have promised to answer. We believe that You will be with them during this period of bereavement, rescue them from grief, honor them, and give them Your salvation.
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This is beautiful, Glenn. Thank you so much!
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You really have had a rough few years. I don’t know if I would have the same strength you have. Thanks for posting this and thanks for following Oh, the Places We See. http://ohtheplaceswesee.com
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People, like kids, are more resilient than we think we are. I won’t say I’ve handled things well necessarily, but I’ve survived so far, and one day, when I finally get far enough on the other side, I will tell the whole story. Writing helps (so does wine and chocolate);)
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Here’s to you — may the best be in store for you.
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Thanks! And same to you!
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There is little I can say to ease your grief, except that my heart goes out to you. My mother died after a devastating 2 year battle with — ironically — heart disease. We lost track of how many times she had to be hospitalized. I watched a vibrant, loving woman waste away and was left to consider my own inadequacies. The truth, of course, is that she remains here in my heart. I cherish every memory. Her spirit was simply released from the shell her body had become. It is now with the Lord who sustained her through countless trials. I don’t know why this life has to be so hard. But suffering can do more than destroy life. It can transmute base elements to gold. ❤
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Amen to that! Thanks Anna! People often ask me how I can stay so positive during all of this. First, I tell them that I am not always positive. They don’t see me when I am at my lowest, though they can read about it in my blog if they dig deep enough. (The Choice, Three Months Since, The Author) I do have a joy in my soul that is undeniable, though, even on my darkest days, because I believe that God will use this, all of it, even the messiest parts, for good.
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