One day maybe I’ll tell my whole story, but that will have to wait until I can write more than a few paragraphs at a time on the same subject. Grieving does that to you. A foggy headed lack of concentration is normal. Some days I’m thankful for it and others it’s frustrating, but it is where I am.
The basics of my story are this…in December 2013 my father, who was a wonderful Dad and a role model in the community, died after a 13 year battle with multiple myeloma. Five months later, my high school sweetheart and husband of 21 years, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He passed away on January 1, 2015. I lost myself for a while after my husband died, becoming angry and self destructive. In August 2015, B, also known as Brad or Branson, was put directly in my path and, as if in a fairy tale, we fell in love at first sight. He breathed joy and hope back into my life and reminded me that I am loved and I am worthy of love. On January 28, 2016 he died suddenly from a blood clot after a minor knee surgery and my heart was shattered. In July 2016, my mother, who was a constant support through all of the previous losses, was diagnosed with a blood cancer. She passed away on October 28, 2016 and I am, at this writing, still reeling from her loss.
Needless to say, it’s been a rough few years. I’m righting now, attempting to pick myself back up yet again, learning and growing from the past, and moving forward. Writing has always been a way to right myself. It’s my therapy. My blog is the way that I share some of my journey. Today it’s all I have to give, but I know that something beautiful is coming. I feel it in my spirit. What it is, I have no idea, but it is my prayer that I will be used in some way to encourage others, to be love and light for them as so many along this path have been love and light to me. In the mean time, I will write in an attempt to stay sane, and I will post some of those writings here in hopes that it may help someone else.